Ten On Tuesday!

1. I am already sick of this weather. I know it hasn’t even really started. I have never completely shut the air conditioner down but have the temp set at 77. Saturday was chilly and Sunday was okay but got warm in the house. Opened the windows and turned on the fans and all was good. Sitting here yesterday afternoon, the sir kicked on. Today, 55 degrees, rainy and cold!


2. Speaking of cold and food, which we do a lot around here, I got the new Food Network magazine and this was in there. Fifty easy soups. I am all about one pot meals and easy! If anybody tries any of them, please tell the rest of us. Not sure I like all 50 but I do see several of them in my winter future!

3. I need to step away from the eggs. We get a free dozen eggs every week and I hate wasting stuff but there is only so much I can do with them. Gregg will not touch an egg with a 10 foot pole. Andy likes them but not that often. I have been hard boiling them and eat 2 every morning for breakfast. They are protein and suppose to be good for ya!

4. I will have new pics of the poopies when their eyes open, which should be any day! Alphie still wants NOTHING to do with them.

5. I was quite happy to see Favre beat his old team on Monday! Shows you that old men still have it!

6. Do some of you really decorate for Fall? Seriously!?!? I do some things for Halloween but I do not have time to put dead leaves and dried corn all over the place. Then I would have to clean that crap up.

7. Made the last payment on my car FINALLY! Who is going to start the pool to see how soon I have to put some money into the thing. I had my last car paid off for over 6 months before my brother borrowed it. Six years ago! He was in a hard place and I had Tom’s truck until I made Ford chase me down for it. Then that left me with one car that was not for everyday driving. It was a Jag. I traded it for the Harley after he died. So I had to get a new one. I really love my car and do take care of it. Please stay with me a little longer. We have been through a lot together.

8. Umm…I need a secretary! I was supposed to go to therapy on Monday. Did I remember? Hell no! I hate having to call people and tell them I am an idiot. I hope I didn’t piss Stacy off!

9. I need to go Wally Worlding and run some errands but I hate going out in cold rain. Since I am such a great procrastinator, I will go tomorrow. Or not!

10. Well, I had several thoughts over the last few days and had it in my head until it was time to write them down. I guess I am done.

Hugs & Kizzes

Karen

Ten On Tuesday!

Her she comes, just a spewing her thoughts! Doo Wah Diddy, Diddy Dum Diddy Do! Got that tune in your head now? Good, my work here is done!



Thoughts:


1. Why did I wake up with the urge to clean? WTF!?!? I NEVER get that urge. Maybe I am still sleeping and dreaming. Has to be that.


2. I think it is all of the crap piled up in this house since I have been so busy this summer and I always say “I will get to it later!” Or when I get around to it. Just what is a “round to it” and where can I get one?


3. Why do I have 70 paperbacks and over 200 hardback books? I never used to save paperbacks but somehow, someone has been piling them up in my laundry/library room. Would you please stop now? Thanks!


4. I listed all of the paperback on the paperback swap sight and got my first request last night. WhooHoo, that means I get a new book!! Ahh, Shaddup, I know, I need more. But…but…I have always been a voracious reader and just love the feel and smell of books. And I read everything. No specific genre here. I can go from self-help to romance to I killed the bastard and he deserved it!


5. I start my therapy on Monday with Stacy! Now I am skeered. That name could go either way on the gender thing. I swear if I get some skinny blonde perky thing, we aren’t going to get along. I will be force to take her a pork chop or something. Secretly hoping it is a he and we will get along fine. At least it is not Helga!


6. Why am I so unlucky? I enter at least 10 contests or sweepstakes everyday and have won 5 things. I am excited about this book that I won. (Oh hush, I know, it’s all about the books). But this one sounds intriguing. It is about dealing with kids with issues. Here is the book and I think I will give this to someone special on here when I am done because we are dealing with similar issues. Hint, hint down there Wildcat territory! That is if she wants it. I will do a review of it and let you know my feelings. But it is going to be autographed to me. Aren’t I special?


7. I HATE Fall. Ok, go ahead a Boo! I hate cold weather and the past 3 days have been cold and the wind is out of control. I have heavy iron furniture on the deck and it is blowing that around. And my poor fake tree I have on there looks like it is really losing its leaves. I need a beach, dammit! Hey, only 4 more months and I go again.


8. My grand-puppies are due any day! The dogs Mommy is driving me slightly more insane by calling me everyday to let me know that she is still waiting. Ok, I get it. I am SURE when she has them, you will call! I can birth babies but I know nuttin’ about birthin’ no puppies! Such a city girl, I am!


9. Think after I let this cleaning thing pass, I will do my nails. I got 5 new bottles of polish at the Festival for a dollar a bottle and I am going to try them out. Oh hush. I am somewhat girlie girl. Must have nice looking nails, I am weird about that. OCD much?


10. I actually “think” this weekend will be a quiet one. So far, nothing going on but maybe the cancelled bonfire from last Saturday but that is easy-peasey since it is about 2 miles from my house! Oh shit, just remembered it is Riley Days in Greenfield. And I am going on Friday. Another one of those Festival type things. Buy more stuff that will need dusted at some point in the future. Maybe I do want snow so I CAN’T leave the house! No, not really. A cooped up Karen is not a good Karen!


Ok, I got more but will stop so you can go get more coffee!


Maybe a funny?


HOW TO INSTALL THE HOME SECURITY SYSTEM


1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.


2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine


3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.


4. Leave a note on your door that reads:


"Bubba,


Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.


Better wait outside. Be right back.


Cooter


Hugs & Kizzes


Karen

Monday, Again!

Hey, guess what? It’s Monday! Sorry to have to tell you!



Well, my weekend ended up not being a vegetable but still calm, relaxing and nothing too exciting. Friday I was all set to just read and be NOBODY! I was totally seeing me in PJ’s all weekend. Oh hush, I can if I want to!


As I was fixing dinner Friday night, Connie called and asked if we were going to the Atlanta Earth Festival on Saturday! Uh Oh! Karen had a brain fart again. I have been going to this thing for well over 20 years and I had forgotten. Ok, yes, I still want to go. This festival, which is in Atlanta, Indiana not Georgia (people ask me that every time) and it is a big garage sale, arts & crafts, food vendors, junk sale type of thing. It takes over the entire town which is a population of around 500 if you count the sheep and cows! And I do mean it is the ENTIRE town. Normally you can walk from one end to the other in less than half an hour!


She picks me up around 8:30 in the morning and off we go. This place is in the area where I lived for over 16 years and I have her sneak in the back door of the town to avoid traffic. Yes, it is the only time of the year that they have a traffic jam. One of my bestest friends still live there and she is one of the first people I see. With life, this is about the only time I ever see her. Anywho, we walked around for a few hours, bought some stuff that will require dusting at some point in the future, looked at stuff we thought we would go back and get when we were leaving so we didn’t have to carry it, and was trying to decide what to eat first. Think fair food but cheaper and better. And then we went to the beer tent. Yep, they have one little bar in this town that seats 8 people and a small room with a pool table. They set up a tent outside and you can get a break form the sun (which we had none that day) and sit and rest your tired feet. We were good girls and had 2 beers and then back to the shopping. Well, it was around 2 pm by then and decided we needed to head home. And do you know that these two ditzy-ass broads forgot to get anything to eat. And I live for food like that. Doh!


We were supposed to go to a bonfire birthday thing Saturday night but it was cancelled because we had storms moving in. Yah, I don’t have to be nobody. We did end up meeting up with 4 of our friends and went out for a couple of hours. Home by 10 pm. I think I am getting old, dammit!


And I was forced to watch that PATHETIC Kentucky game. Marty, I wouldn’t tell anyone that you are from there any more. People may never stop laughing!


Sunday was a PJ day all the way. I am a weird female in that I LOVE to watch football on Sunday. And NASCAR. Hey, no judging. I am from Indiana after all! Worked on making some BBQ ribs and fresh corn on the cob and vegetated.


And the tension in this house can get rough on Sundays. Gregg is a Bears fan and I of course am a Colts fan. Thank God we weren’t together when the Colts beat their ass in the Super Bowl! I already get to taunt him about it but it would have been worse then.


Then the REAL football came on! I do love my Colts! And always have. No bandwagon fan here. I actually used to work at The Hoosier/RCA for the first 8 years they were here, in the suites, getting the rich bastards drunk and them giving me money. There ya are, judging again!


That, my friends, was a good game. I have never been a Warner fan I did so love watching his pathetic playing. Yes, I do yell at the TV just like the men. And have scratched my balls while doing so. And I burp out loud if I happen to be drinking a beer. Judge away, I am used to it!


So, the weekend did turn out quiet, restful and relaxing!


Monday morning, the freaking jack hammer and backhoe are back. But the guy and the kid are gone so...heehee, life is good.


Hope you all have as great week. Not much this week except I have to start going to therapy this week. No, you silly’s, arm therapy as it is not healing the way he or I want. He wants to try this first before does any shots (WTF!!!!) or worse, more surgery! Therapy, here I come. Hope I get a young, hot, and studly therapist. My luck, I am gonna get Helga!


Hugs & Kizzes


Karen

My Weekend!

Ok, I really am gonna blog now. Seriously! And it will be long! As I sit here having a nice breakfast of two hard-boiled eggs and a small sliced tomato, I “think” I am finally caught up on all of you! If I did not comment, please don’t be upset. I read everything but if I had nothing to add to what had already been said, I didn’t want to be redundant.

I think for Christmas I will send Kippy a pet shark, Sandi a nice Schick razor, Marty some new jeans in a much smaller size, BTC my address to mail me some of that bread and a big stick to smack the stooped out of the dippy duo, Patti a paint brush and easel, Kat is a big “L” sign to hand to her neighbors in town, Blondie gets a bottle of wine from the winery (or two) that I visited, Terry get a nice warm sweater for the cold months coming, Erin gets a “Newman” radar, Silver Eagle could use a vacation from stooped, Chip get a manicure set and a subscription to Proactive, Catherine gets a book of Mike’s carwash tickets, and Barbara gets a big hug for all she is going through. If I missed anyone, please forgive me for I am old and tired.

Now, as for the weekend…OMG did we have fun! The weather the entire weekend was Gorgeous! Temps were in the high 70’s to the low 80’s! We did have 6 people that canceled so the group was down to 16 but still worked out VERY nice! Thursday, for once in my life, everything went right according to the plan. We got up and got all of our stuff packed and loaded, waited for Andy to get home, sent him of to my Seester’s and we hit the road at 4:00 and we were there at 5:20! Ok, yes, I drove and there is a stretch of I65 that has a “suggested” speed of 70 but I think it is only a suggestion as I was able to go about 80-85 and stay with traffic!

My BFF and her Hubby were coming down that day too so we just chilled that night and sat outside for a while having a few beers. This is the view from our room:

Friday is when the rest were coming down at various times. The four of us went into Little Nashville to do some shopping and “stuff”. The guys, of course, got tired of shopping and hit the local pub and parked their butts there and we just brought our packages back to them to watch it. Connie and I found one of the wineries (imagine that) and we tried five new wines and decided to get a bottle and sit on their back deck and enjoy. We got a really nice semi-sweet red wine and some Havarti cheese and some Rosemary crackers and just TOTALLY enjoyed! Can you say spoiled?

By this time, people were rolling in so we had to head back which is only less than a mile. We had planned a big cookout behind the hotel so we whipped out the grill, burger, dogs, and all kind of other stuff. We had candles all around our little site and it was just perfect! It got a little chilly in the evening but all you had to put on was a sweatshirt or light jacket and it was great. We stayed out there for awhile and chillaxed. Per usual, the male species always get tired before the girls so off to bed they went. Well, to be fair, some of the girls went to bed too! But not us diehards. We even went for a walk around the parking lot and talked to the cows and thought about a small cow tipping event but we think the fence was electric and we are not quite that stupid. Well, one did put their foot on it but the rest of us were busy peeing our pants from laughter.

Saturday, whew, I can’t even begin to describe what a great day! We shopped more, I bought 3 bottles of wine from another winery, and we ate. But the real treat was the Outhouse Races! No, we did not plan our trip around them, it just happens to be the weekend we were there. But, OMG, did I laugh! In the second part, there is only one entry that I did not see but it had three wheels and since it was the only one, of course they won! Now the testosterone is flowing through the males of our group and I shit you not (pun intended), they have already started designing one for next year. And that is where they are thinking a two-holer and all of this stuff! I will keep you posted as it goes.

That night we ran around to our usual suspected places and had a blast. The little bar that is right behind the hotel had its’ re-opening night that night so all we had to do is crawl across the parking lot. Fifteen of us walk in and there were only two people in there. Well, we are a party all by ourselves and the owner was just thrilled. I had talked to her about 2 weeks before we left to see if she would be open and, Damn if that women didn’t speed up so we could come in! That is where this picture was taken:

We are missing three because Connie’s Hubby is having health issues and wasn’t feeling well and the other two went to bed. Sorry, but they are the one couple that we don’t really like so much but we are morally obligates to invite them. They CAN be nice people but he bitches about everything! For example, he didn’t wan to go to the hotels ice machine to get ice so he went across the street to store and then BITCHED because it cost him $4 for a big bag! And this went on all weekend. Thank God they are early to bed type people or we might have had a body to hide!

Sunday we wake up to rain. But that was fine because we were all heading home anyway! So, that is a small dose of the weekend. I came home with sore jaws and ribs from the laughter and fun. And I can’t wait to do it again next year.
And who would think that 5 grown adult (drunk) women could get a call from the office to shut up AFTER we had gone to bed?!?!?

Tomorrow, the story of the computer that shut me out of my world for a few days! And something great that I won!

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Tuesday Thoughts

My thoughts, hmmm…they are everywhere today!

1. Sleep has returned to a semi-normal way. I am back to getting at least 4-5 hours a night which is way better than 45 minutes. I think it was thyroid related because I upped the meds and it got better.

2. Gregg is on vacation this week and thinks he needs to be all up in my ass all of the time. He is finally outside mowing the yard and I can breath. Love ya baby, but GO DO SOMETHING!

3. Planning a weekend for 22 people can drive a person crazier than they already are! Let’s see if you can get this: Thursday – 2 couples, Friday – 8 couples, and Saturday 11 couples! Saturday we are renting a guy with a school bus to drive us around so nobody is drinking and driving. Finding a place that can seat 22 people on Saturday night for dinner. Getting all of the crap together with all of the above people to have a cook-out at the hotel on Friday. Four of the men in said group have massive amounts of testosterone coursing through their veins and just can’t possibly KISS because everything has to be LARGE! Trying to just have burgers and dogs is so much more complicated with these men!

4. I am going to enjoy this weekend even if I have to hide a few bodies, ‘nuf said!

5. Got all of the babysitters situated. One for the kid and one for the dog.

6. I do think it is very sad that Patrick Swayze has died but at least he is in peace now. I have wanted to take up pottery every since I first saw Ghost! And I cry VERY time I watch it!

7. I can’t believe they are taking the one soap opera that I like off of the air after 70+ years. I have watch Guilding Light for over 30 years! And the freaking finale is on Friday and I will be in Nashville. Shopping. Or at the winery. Or shopping. Or at the winery!

8. This damn driveway work they are doing around here is getting quite old! Either today or tomorrow, it will be my turn and it sucks because you can’t even get down the street with the damn big ass dumpster and all of their trucks as it is. Now I am going to have to park in my yard for about 3 days. Thinking about asking them if they could wait until Friday to do ours as we will be gone and they still have three by me to do and could just back up and do me! See, always thinking here!

9. I am sick of tomatoes. Seriously! I have done everything I can with them and they just keep multiplying. And now I have 6 zucchini growing so that will be my next nightmare. But I love zucchini bread and that stuff freezes really good so no biggie there. Oh, and we have 3 watermelon growing! Green beans are dying out but they were damn good this year and I did get some froze for the winter.

10. Our puppies will be here in 3-4 weeks. Trying to decide if I should keep the pup that I get or do I sell it. Knowing me, I will fall in love with the little sucker and want to keep it. Buttttt…people have been telling me that there will be territorial issues if I get a male and if I get a female, I will have to have both of them fixed. I is so confused!

11. Dammit, showing parts of Ghost on TV right now! And the interview that Barbara Walters did and he is crying. Shit, now I’m gonna cry!

Ok, that is enough of my brain for now. This is cute and I have to share:
A Sheriff in a small town in Texas walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking around like this?'The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff .... I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did. We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt... So I did.Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants... So I did. Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts...so I did. Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, 'Now go to town cowboy...

‘'And here I am.'

Son of a Gun. Blonde Men do exist

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Dear So and So!!

Ok, kids, it’s that time of the week! Yep, Dear so & So! Hold on, this could leave a mark!

Dear School,
I absolutely love you! I know some of my friends have been dreading that day as their youngster is going off to the first day and I so remember those! But seeing as this is my third child and this is his 8th year…can I buy you chocolate…or a beer…cuz I do know that kid and you are definitely gonna need it! Why do you think I have bought stock in wine?
Luv Ya!
Have a Good Day and Behave


Dear Alphie,
Yes, you are a good, yes you really are, yes, yes you are. Now quit shitting on the floor EVERY DAMN TIME I walk out of the door! I walk you and walk you and what do I get in return? Tootsie rolls on the floor if I even run to the store and back! Well, revenge is mine! See that little crate over there? Momma went to the evil Wally World and bought that for you today! Yep, shit where you sleep, not where I step!
Thanks!
Can’t look at tootsie rolls anymore

Dear Bill Collectors,
Ok, we have been playing this game for over 6 years now! You continually call here for Tom. I keep telling you that you are calling the wrong number. You need to look up and start talking because that is the only way you are going to get him on the line! He is dead, you assholes! I have sent you death certificates over and over and over! My name is not on those bills and the estate has been closed. Now go to Hell or I will help send you! Yes, I know I was his wife as I happen to be there at the time I made that commitment and I was there when he died, trust me on this! He is not going to pay you, really, seriously, he is not. Nor am I! You are turning this into fun for me as I am sure I have made a few of you either pee your pants or cry, or both! See, when you mess with an insane widow, you get what you get!
You don’t have to always do your job,
1-800-Call-God

Dear Daughter,
Thanks for putting it all over MySpace that you have, and I quote “The worst fucking parents in the world!” You can what you want about the sperm donor dude but I did not deserve that. Yes, I apologized for missing my grand daughters 1st B-day! One, you did not have a party or if you did, you did not invite me! Two, I was out of town having FUN for a change and did not remember. Three, I called you the very next morning and you would not talk to me. Four, She is only ONE YEAR OLD!! I PROMISE she will never remember that she did not hear my voice on that day!
That just bites after all that I have done for you that your “father” refused! Let’s just start with last Christmas! I spent over $400 on you, your 2 kids, and that loser of a boyfriend you have. Yes, I even bought him gifts so as not to feel left out! What did I get? A Fucking box of chocolate covered cherries! Whoopp-dee-fucking-doo!

Let’s not even go into the fact of all of the other times I have gave you money and such things like letting you and another loser live in my house! Or lest we forget that I took care of YOUR son for 45 days while you were in jail for being an idiot! Yep, I am the worst parent...And you know how people call you little bitch...well, you just pissed of Big Bitch and you know how that rolls! Just sayin’

‘Nuff Said,
Not getting parent of the year award

Ok, so that is that! Rant over and I don’t feel better but I can handle it. So, now off to do something creative or destructive. Or go blog lurking. Who knows?

Male or Female:::

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in...but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off...it takes a while to warm them up again.

They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed...but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object.... because to get them to go anywhere...you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female...because they are soft.....squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES:
Female...because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male... because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because...over time...all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male... because in the last 5000 years.....they've hardly changed at all...and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male...but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it...and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push...he just keeps trying

Hugs & Kizzes,
Karen

My BFF Tried to Kill Me!!

Good Morning to you! Well, it is sorta good here since the house is all quiet thanks to that lovely school bus taking my child away for 8 hours a day.

Today’s blog is about last weekend since a new one is upon us!

So, my weekend! Whew, I gotta remember that I am not as young as I think I am. Connie (my BFF) and I had talked and decided to go to the fair on Friday after I did the doctor. So I call her when I am done and she, in all of her wonderful brilliance, says “How about I kidnap you for the day!” We do this once ina while where we spend the night at each others house and catch up on each others lives. Ok, cool, I can use a day off! So she comes into town, grabs me and off we go! We go to the VFW in her town which is about 20 minutes from me! They LOVE me there. No idea why but they do! I walk in and you would think had been gone for years. It is so nice to get that feeling from them. Plus, as they say, we can’t wait to see what you girls do next! Well, beer started flowing…and flowing..and flowing! We got to her house about 11 that night! Stay up talking and a few White Russians later, we finally go to bed. Ok, Saturday I am to go to the Annual Cookout at the VFW here. We get up, have coffee……and Bloody Mary’s! Then Margaritas…see where this is going? Ummm…I made it to where I was suppose to go…..at 5:30 that night! BUTTTTT…..With a note from Mom to explain why I was late:







Gregg and I hung out for a while and finally went home and sat out on the porch letting the skeeters chew on me for a while!

Needless to say, Sunday I felt like a bucket of fuck! Oh, Lord, what have I done to myself? And you know you are not smart and will do it again one of these days! And did anybody have sympathy for me? Hell No! I just got laughed at all day! And I got over it so there! Nothing like a day of moving from the computer to the bed and back. And darling Gregg did make Spaghetti for dinner so I had no cooking to do. Which was good because food was not what my stomach was wanting so much. But I hadn’t ate since Thursday so I did eat some and it was good.

Tuesday was a great day! Andy went off to school and I did the Happy Dance while the dog just looked at me with that look and life was good!

This week has been pretty uneventful until this morning but I will blog about that tomorrow as it just pisses me off to no end and I don’t want to ruin a happy blog with finally figuring out why some species eat their young!

This weekend is gonna be slightly busy as we have approximately 500 pound of tomatoes in the garden that I am going to have to do something with besides throw them at the cars passing by!

Can you believe Marty and Rick have been married for 15 years and that still actually LIKE each other. Miracles do happen! If I was still with my cheating ex husband, this year would have been our 25th! Naw, prolly not, I would have killed him by now!

Here is your funny for the day:

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher)



After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school.



One child wrote the following:



We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida .. Now they live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on their bicycles and wear name tags because they don't know who they are anymore.



They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now, they do exercises there, but they don't do them very well.



There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.



At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night --- early birds. Some of the people can't get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.



My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too. When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.


PRICELESS !!!

Hugs & Kizzes

Karen

I know, I know! I have been a bad blogger but sometimes life happens.

Gregg was on vacation last week and I can get NOTING done when he is around all day. Plus the kid was at camp so we enjoyed some “us alone” time and that was actually very nice!!!

The drive to take him to camp just about kills me but it is worth it! It is 80 miles one way but once you get off of the Interstate and drive thru the hills of Nashville, Indiana, it is absolutely gorgeous. All of the hills and trees and animals! If I were a smart person I would have taken my camera and stopped and taken some pix but alas, we know me and we know I is not always smart!

I did have one little incident on the drive tho. Damn car swerved into the Brown County Winery!!! OMG...It just turned right in without me knowing it! And then I blacked out and SOMEHOW 4 bottles of wine ended up in my trunk!!!! How did that happen?? But I will thank the wine ghost as I got some yummy stuff! Raspberry wine on the porch on a hot August day...What a life!

As you know, we went to the fair on Friday and ate our way thru it! Picture this, two adults consuming:

4 corndogs
3 ears of corn
1 rib eye sammich
1 pineapple whip
1 elephant ear
1 apple dumpling
3 pork chops
1 banana/strawberry slushy
1 lemon shake-up
3 Pepsi’s
2 bottles of water

And we did all of that in 6 hours!! Hey, don’t judge…it only happens once a year. Ok, I lied…I am going again this Friday with the girls! Hehehe

Then on Saturday I had to go pick up the kid and I so hated that drive as we stayed out late on Friday playing with the gang. It has been a very long time since we both stayed out in public that late so the long drive the next day just about killed me. Who turned the sun up so bright??

Sunday, I became a Murderer! Yep, I killed the dust bunnies! Gregg started on Saturday while I went to Nashville and since my tired butt went to bed early Saturday I woke up Sunday in the mood to be …wait for it…domesticated! OMG!! Now that is a totally scary thing. I NEVER, I repeat, NEVER have that urge! I marinated pork chops for dinner, made cucumbers & onions, made corn casserole, cleaned the ENTIRE kitchen and both bathrooms, did laundry, made 5 pounds of salsa, and even did the dishes as I went along and after dinner! Gregg was sure someone had taken over my body. He kept asking where the real Karen was and who was I!!! I likes to keep him on his toes like that!

This week has been a busy one with doctor appts. Monday we saw the Psychologist, and Tuesday the Psychiatrist. They are both in the same office but the damn insurance won’t pay for two visits in one day. Then we went to Shoe Carnival and for the first time EVER in my life I paid $50.00 for a pair of shoes for the kid!! OMG!! But I will say he had $20 coming from his allowance and he gave it too me to help pay for his shoes so it wasn’t all that bad! Yesterday after his appt. we went to Wally World and got a bunch of clothes for him. I did one thing good in raising my kids in the fact that they do migrate towards the clearance racks as they have learned they can get more there! I am pretty open to letting them have “special” things for the start of school but he is turning into a wise young man!

Today is more chores today as in I have to clean my carpets and stuff since my “darling” dog decided to have diarrhea last night. ALL OVER THE HOUSE! Nothing like waking up scratching your eyes and your ass and walking out to the living room and attempting to dodge land mines EVERY WHERE!! And all before coffee! Argggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Tomorrow is my follow-up appt. for my arm. He thinks he may put me in therapy! When we were there last week he said that and of course Gregg popped up with “I don’t think you are the right kind of doctor to send her to the right kind of therapy that she needs” Smartass!

Friday I is off to eat more fair food…oh God help me! Saturday is the Annual Cook-out at the VFW and Sunday I will be on the couch or in rehab. Yet to be determined. If you don’t hear from me, please come visit me and I will share my meds with you!

Ok, now that you are fully and knowledgely (is that even a word?) bored will leave you a giggle:

Since it is Back to School Time, this fits:

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.

____________________________________



TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

__________________________________________



TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

(I love this kid)

____________________________________________



TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________



TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________



TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

_______________________________________



TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'


________________________________



TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

______________________________________



TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No, sir, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook.

______________________________



TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, sir. It's the same dog.

___________________________________



TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

__________________________________

PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!

LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!

Dear So and So!!

Sooo...Hi There! How the Hell has ya been? Oh, never mind, I know cuz’ I been a reading’ ya know! Just haven’t had the urge to write anything! But I need to do my Saturday thingy so without further ado:

Dear Andy,
You did it my boy! You made it 12 years of age! How, I have no clue, but you did it! And I even played good Mom and got you the Xbox 360 that you have been whining for the past 180 days at least 180 times a day! I know I should not encourage you to play video games and make you go outside but honestly, the peace and quiet is SOOO worth it right now! And you re doing good earning the money for more gadgets and games for it so maybe something good can come from this!

Quiet is Bliss!


Dear Daughter,
Could you PLEASE stop having birthdays now? You see, every year that you get older, guess who does too! Yep, that would be me! And I am not liking this, at all! You are at a good age of 26, stop there…mmmm kay?!?!? But you is a good girl so Happy Birthday anyway!

HAHAHA, you are old now!


Dear Dr. Asshat,
Yanno, you said this would be all good after I let you cut a six inch gash in my arm. Well, guess what? IT. IS. NOT!! The two fingers that you were to fix, yep, you guessed it…still numb and tingly! I talked to you lovely nurse on Tuesday who said that I could take the stint off for a couple of hours so I could scratch the first six layers off of my arm from all of the itching. OMG….Where did you learn to sew? Frankenstein had a better seamstress! And those 45 Vicodin you gave me...Gone...gone I tell ya! And I have a good tolerance for pain. Hell, I had a hysterectomy and only took pain meds for the first couple of days! I will be seeing you on Thursday and I hope you have paid your insurance as me thinks you are going to be paying for plastic surgery and not the kind that I had envisioned ever having. Ya know, I still want a boob job. Maybe after I sue your ass, I can have my arm fixed, a tummy tuck, and a boob job! This could work out!
Maybe Thanks!

Scarred for life!


Dear Alphie and Molly,
You finally did IT! Twice so far! Am I gonna be a Grandma again? You are going for a doggie date today and tomorrow so I do hope you finish up your “business”. This shit of getting up at 6 in the morning because you’re Mr. Winky is hard and she is not here and you want to whine is soooo not working for me!

Your doggie porn watching Momma


Dear Hot Water Heater,
Thanks dude! I mean seriously, how did you look out from the closet and see me sitting here moving money from one account to another so that I wouldn’t spend it? You are only five years old, how can you be tired? Yes, I understand that the water around here is so hard you practically have to chew it, but come on! Well, I threw your ass outta the house. Take That! You will be leaving my porch on Monday to never be seen again! I will get a new one from the supply company and will sell it to get some money back that you stole from me! And I will thank you as I am sitting on the beach next year!

Cold showers suck!


Dear Camp Kesem,
WHOOOTTTTTTTT to you! It is that time of the year again! You get to take the above mentioned boy for 6 whole peace and quiet loving days! I don’t care much for the 4 hours round trip drive but that’s OK! HE loves you; I love you so I see a win/win situation! But I do have one question…Do you have bed bugs? If so, please tell me now so I can be ready for the weeks of scratching, bleeding and bitching!

Two Happy Campers!


Ok, that is it for the day. I am sure I have more but will not completely bore you!

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Christmas In July!!!

Hi Peeps!

First off, I owe a great big Apology to Lula. I am SO SORRY!
As I participated in the Christmas in July Swap over at Angie’s Spot, I was to have mailed my package out on Friday. Well, as I was having surgery on Monday, I was so busy getting stuff done around here that I wouldn’t be able to do this week, I got behind in getting my stuff together. I had it all ready by Saturday but the Post Office was already closed. Soooo…I asked Gregg if he would mail it for me Monday after we got home from the Hospital.

Wellll….you know what happens when you ask a man to do something, don’t you!

Yep...umm...noo…he didn’t mail it. And I didn’t know it…until late Wednesday as that was the next time I was in my car. It was sitting in my back seat all nice and ready to go. So it was mailed out Thursday morning! You should get it by Monday or Tuesday I would think! I am soooo sorry!!!

And it is still missing one thing that I can’t get until September so she will get a late addition to hers!

But, back to ME!!! I got mine yesterday and what a great surprise! It is as if she read my mind!

I was actually looking at this book in Wally World the other day and thought that it would be a neat series to read so she has started it now!! And as someone that has approximately 150 pairs of shoes, I don’t wear them that often and was thinking that a nice pedicure would be great right about now. I tried some of the lotion and all I can say is OMG!! And the socks are soooo soft. They will be well worn next winter, I promise you that! And don’t you just love the ornament?!?!? And I am listening to the CD right now. A lot of my favs on there! She did an awesome job! Thank you Lula!!! I love it all!!

And do you know she even has stationary with her blog site on it!! How cool is she!

Thank you Angie for hosting this and it was fun! I can’t wait to do another! I always enjoy meeting new people and you have opened the door for me to lurk at whole bunch of new blogs!! hehehehe

You can follow the linky thingy up there to see all of the neat things that have traveled this great country of ours to new homes!

Fun, fun, fun

Surgery Can Be Fun!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

I hurt My Belbow

Well, hummm!

Yep, it’s Thursday! That’s about it! This week has been rather quiet around here! Only half-ass exciting thing is that I FINALLY got to see the Ortho Doc. It has taken me three appointments to do it. The first one I had to cancel because a friend needed me to go to court with her over a Dr. bill and then my Doc went on Vacation for two weeks. I had another appointment last Tuesday and MY family Doctor’s nurse told me it was in another building. I couldn’t find the damn office. I didn’t take the number with me so I tried to call 411 and get the address. Well, as I have never been to this one, I had no idea how his name was spelt. His name is Srader but is pronounced like Schrader! I would have never thought to spell it that way. So 411 sends me to the COMPLETE other side of town! Nope, not him. Turns out I ended up in a Psychiatrist office. Kind of fitting but I shot the Hell outta there before they could keep me. I finally gave up and came home and called. I was in the right area but needed to be in the building across the street. DOHHHHHHH!!

So it seems I have a pinched Ulna nerve in my belbow! I have none or very little feeling in my ring and pinky fingers on my left hand! So he says the only was to fix it is to cut me open and loosen it! Fun Fun, I tell ya! He is a good looking guy and funny too! He asked me if I was afraid of surgery!! I started laughing and told him NOPE! See, about a year ago I had a complete hysterectomy and she had to cut me from my belly button to heaven and I had over 20 staples so, no, cut me at your will! And the way he was talking about a shot in a major nerve up in the chest area for numbness during and after surgery, I had to ask him if they were going to put me completely out. He said of course, unless you want to stay awake and hear us talk about all of icky stuff! HELL NO! I told him to put me out so I couldn’t hear them making fun of me. He laughed and said maybe paint your toenails something funny so we will have something to laugh about!!

I am going to paint smiley faces or something on my big toes just for him!

So I will be commenting quite slow next week as I will only have one hand for typing. The last couple of days I have been trying to do my daily things with just my right hand as this is NOT GOING TO BE FUN!!!
Thank God he is going to be giving me some good drugs so I can leave you guys some REALLY good comments. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
And your funny for the day:

Hug & Kizzes
Karen

Sign found in Bars:::

Friends don't let friendstake home ugly men
Women's restroom
Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE


Beauty is only a light switch away.
Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham , NC


If life is a waste of time,and time is a waste of life,then let's all get wasted togetherand have the time of our lives.
Armand's Pizza, Washington , DC


Fighting for peace is likescrewing for virginity.
The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO


No matter how good she looks,some other guy is sick and tiredof putting up with her shit.
Men's Room
Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC


At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.
Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson , AZ


It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Written in the dust on the back of a bus,Wickenburg , AZ


Make love, not war.-Hell, do bothGET MARRIED!
Women's restroom
The Filling Station, Bozeman , MT


If voting could really change things,it would be illegal..
Revolution BooksNew York , New York .


If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
Men's restroom House of Representatives, Washington , DC


Express Lane:Five beers or lessSign over one of the urinals
Ed Debevic's, Phoenix , AZ


You're too good for him.Sign over mirror in Women's restroomEd Debevic's, Beverly Hill s ,CA


No wonder you always go home alone.Sign over mirror in Men's restroom,Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hill s ,CA

~~~ and perhaps the most realistic one ~~~

A Woman's Rule of Thumb:If it has tires or testicles,you're going to have trouble with it Women's restroomDick's Last Resort, Dallas , TX

Dear So and So Saturday!

Time for Dear SO and SO Saturday! I borrowed the button from Kat and named it this over on Multiply! Thanks, Kat even tho you have no clue who I am!

You might wanna grab a big cup of coffee or a glass of wine...oh Hell...you may wanna grab the whole bottle because Momma has a lot to say this week:

Dear Lawrence Officer,

Seriously Dude! I realize that you have a rough job being an officer of the Law and all of that but did you really think that putting an 11 year old child in handcuffs, putting him in the back seat of your car, and hauling him down to Juvie was going to make you a hero in you Supervisors eyes? I mean really?!?! All he did was push the brat off of his bike and skinned his elbow. No blood, no stitches, and no damage. Now, I DO NOT condone my child touch another person for any reason, but did you REALLY have to treat him like a common criminal? On this said night about a week ago, while you were taking an hour off your given beat, TWO, yes, TWO people were shot and killed less than a mile from my house approximately the same time you were being an asshole! Do you not think that you could have used my tax dollars and your time management just a little better and maybe take care of the real criminals? No charges were filled and you even told me that as I was watching you take my baby away FOR NO DAMN REASON! Do you realize that it was exactly 58 minutes before they called me to come and pick my son up in one of the worst neighborhoods in our city and that it was getting dark? Did you not understand the concept that I am a single female? Please, for the Love of God, go back to training and man up so you can quit picking on 11 year olds.

Pissed off Mom,
Not voting for your next raise

Dear Mom of the above victim,

What kind of pansy ass son are you raising over there? Every time someone looks at him wrong, do you really need to call the PoPo? Your son is the approximate same size as mine. As I DO NOT condone my son touching another person, your little (girl) boy should have gotten up and gave it back to him. Yes, I know they both were calling each other names. It was self-confessed by both, and my son did push your son off of his bike. But, they were stopped so it was not a drive by shooting that you needed to call the Police. Back in my day, if that happened, we got up and settled man to man and went about our way! If I had EVER came home and told my Dad that “someone hurt me” and they did not look worse than me, my Dad would march my butt over there and settle it in normal fashion. Not that we went over to “beat you up” but settle it amongst neighbors and end it! We did not bother the local finest or dumbest as was this case. And for your info, I am only 5 feet tall and I NEVER backed down from a bully. God help your child next year in school. I hope he doesn’t get beat up by too many girls!

My son doesn’t wear pink.

Dear Camp Jameson,

I really do love you, well, did until Thursday! You only charged me $75 for the camp when you originally told me $125. For that I am grateful. My son loves coming there and I do so enjoy the 5 days of silence. I REALLY DO!

Then you had to go and blow it. Big chunky kind of blow it! As a semi-normal half-sane person, I would think that you would inform me at registration that you had been having issues with bed bugs! Ummm…you have approximately 100 kids coming into your camp and you did not feel the need to tell not a single one of us!?!? So Thursday, Andy was having some issues and you called to let me know and I was able to calm him down a little. Then, as an after thought, you inform me that my child is COVERED in bed bug bites?!?! WTF people! Yes, you claimed that you washed all of his stuff, sprayed the area, and took all necessary steps to stop them. But shouldn’t I have had the decision rights to decide if my son was going to stay at your camp and risk the bites. And my child was not the only one to be bit! I man COME THE FUCK on! When I came to get my son on Thursday, there were about 20 other parents there to get there child the Hell outta the area!
Then you had to cause me more stress my worrying if he brought any home in his stuff! Thank you so much! How can I ever repay you for this? The poor boy is a walking itch machine and I have him completely covered in Calamine lotion and am shoving Benadryl down his throat just so he has a layer or two of skin left. And then he tells me this morning he thinks he has new bites. THANK YOU SO DMN MUCH! I needed to completely cleaned, wash, and vacuum everything that child owns because I have nothing else to do! I may have to send you a cleaning bill for my time?

Not a Happy Camper!

Dear Sinuses,
You and I have been together for a lot of years. We have got along really good since I was about 10 years old after I got over some allergies. Please explain to me why all of a sudden you need to interrupt my life? I did not know that one body could make that much snot and still not be able to breath! I am just asking that you go away or I will resort to mean tactics, like maybe going to the Doctor or something else terrible! Did you know that breathing is not optional in this life? I bought stock in Kleenex now so I may be a rich woman one of these days. Well, that and Benadryl for my son!

Snert and Achoo!

Ok kids, that is the jest of my week! See, life is never boring for me, Dammit! Marty, next time you run away, I is going with you! Eric will just have to share the back seat!

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Monday, Monday!

Monday Morning!!! Well, it is here!! Sun is shining, temps are around 80, and the boy child is safely at camp! Yep, just me and the dog until about 4 p.m.! Gotta love it! I even got up and decided I was not going to put any pants on and just run around in my night shirt….that is until Alphie stood by the door…reminding me I still have some duties even if it is of the four legged type!

I have already started writing my So and So’s for this week. See, last weeks I had started earlier so I could write them as I remembered them. Well, Friday night was as messed up as it could get but I was not in the mood Saturday to add them. I have three already and it is only Monday!! Your gonna love em, I promise!

Hope everyone had a great 4th and nobody got hurt. It rained ALL DAMN DAY!! Those lying ass bastards that do that weather thing kept telling us that the rain would stop by 7 p.m.! OMG!! I want their job! It did not stop raining until about 10 pm and then it was so cloudy. We can see the fireworks from our front porch so we still got to watch and we let Andy and his friend blow up the street! We bought Way too many fireworks but they had fun. Most of my neighbors were not home and even if they were, they are cool like that and just came out to watch (once the damn rain stop).

I don’t have much today as it is QUIET here! I get the remote, the computer, get to eat when I want and not have to cook for anyone else, and I can run nekkid through the house! I love this week!

Ok, here is your funny for the day:

Have you ever seen one? A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues. 'Johnny!' Mom screams. 'Knock it off.' You're going to break something. He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor.

The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP!

The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

'Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?' she asks.

He says, 'I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart!'




You're laughing aren't you...I know you are!!!

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Dear So and So

I saw this on here and thought it was a great idea so I am joining in!

Dear Weatherman,

Can I please have your job because you so obviously suck at it and I could do it and I could also use your really outrageous paycheck for doing nothing? I mean seriously, you have all of those computers, Doppler radars and hell, you even have a phone and you could call them in the Illinois and ask what is going on over there and know that we will get it next. If it is raining there, IT IS GOING TO RAIN HERE!

Sincerely,
Your future replacement
*************************************************************************************
Dear wonderful son,

Yes, I realize you are going to camp tomorrow. Remember, I am the one that signed you up, took you to the doctor for your physical, and I even PAID for it. You do not, I repeat, do not have to remind me every 15 minutes. I am FULLY aware that I will get to be childless for the next 5 days and I promise you I will fully enjoy. Now go outside. I promise you won’t melt or anything like that.

Love,
The Mom that will enjoy the next 5 days

**********************************************************************
Dear Weeds in my Garden,
I would really like to know who invited you to the party. We spent a ton of money putting that garden in and making sure we didn’t invite you. As soon as we turned our backs and went out of town for a couple of days, you throw a damn party! What, are you teenagers that think just because Mom & Dad are gone you can tear the place up. Sorry about yer luck, I just sprayed your butts and you is gonna die...die I tell ya!

Now get out,
Your murderer for hire

***********************************************************************
Dear Alphie,
You know I love you, I really do! But why do you think it is necessary to jump on my bed at the first light of day and lick my face? I know what else you lick and would prefer you kept that taste to yourself. I mean, come on dude, you are always licking me some where and I can take it on my feet or legs, but seriously, not on my face.

Thank you,
The Alphie treat person

************************************************************************
Dear Guy in India,
I am grateful to you! Really, I am!! The day will go down in history. I totally appreciate the fact the you have a good grasp of the English language and I was able to understand you for the whole hour we were getting to know each other whilst you fixed my modem that decided to take a crap yesterday. I will return the one I bought today and I thank you for the $50.00 you let me keep. I had not even cashed the rebate check that I got for this modem and now I get to actually keep it. And you even helped with a couple of other issues with my ‘puter! If you weren’t so far away, I might kiss you!

One Happy Internet Lurker

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Busy, Busy

Hi!! Miss me? Well, get a better aim!

I know I haven’t had time to actually do a blog, just been lurking around when I can. Sometimes LIFE happens and I only get a few minutes to read some on here!

Gregg was on vacation last week and he is a needy one! Seems to think I need to entertain him 24/7! God it was so great when he went to work Monday morning. Love the man but Damn Sam; go do something without me for once!!

The concert was totally awesome! As you saw in the pics, we had a good time with some great young guys! All these young girls in short skirts around us and they wanted to play with the “cougars” as we were referred to in the pics! Nobody got hurt in the making of those memories.

Monday and Tuesday we took the psycho child to Holiday World for a couple of days of fun! It is an amusement park with rides and Water Park with a beach on Lake Shafer. We spent two days just riding roller coasters and floating on the water! Just what the doctor ordered. Gregg got sunburned really bad as his white ass legs haven’t seen the sun since he was 7. My tan just got darker as I still am tanned from going to Florida in May.

Temps around here have finally cooled down. It was in the nineties for about a week. This girl don’t like temps like that unless there is sand between my toes and a Margarita in my hand! Had the Margarita but no sand, dammit!

Seriously, I need somebody to come and clean this house!!! The dust bunnies just point and laugh at me now! Seeing how I am an animal lover, I just can’t bring myself to kill them!

The boy is getting ready to go to camp on Sunday!

WHOOOHOOOO!!!! Momma gets a week free of the psycho boy! And then he comes home for a few weeks and then off to another camp for a week! WHOOOHOOO!! He will then only have about a week before school starts! Gregg is on vacation again the second camp so I will have to play with him. We were going to go to Las Vegas but decided to just go to one of the casino boats here and get away! I get to go play Craps!! I love me some Craps and I REALLY like winning money!

It was also Gregg’s birthday on Monday so we had a small celebration for him! He don’t do cakes since that is basically what he does for a living, so I got him a banana cream pie! I know, I know, I should have made it myself but just wasn’t in the mood and Kroger had a really good one, so there! That’s just how I roll!
Ok, I tried to give you the short version so I don’t bore you to death. I will give you a funny for the day:

Hugs & Kizzes

Karen

A Beach Moment.......... I was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his manhood. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it would lift itself." ..............

New Friends

Good Afternoon all!
I am a new stumbler/lurker on here and so I have no followers as of yet but I am trying import a few from my other blog at multiply. If you like to lurk also you can find me here –

I will give you amply warning that my thoughts run free and I will say whatever comes to mind! Yes, I use profanity sometimes just because no there word fit my mood at the time. I do not intentionally offend anyone but some people have sensitive eyes!

In my stumbling/lurking I found a really neat blog and was just reading and reading and this gal is having a swap! I thought that was just a neat idea and a new way to make new friends! Her name is Angie and here is where you can find her. She said I could tell!!
Angie's Christmas in July Swap

So go on over, visit, say HI and maybe jump in on the fun!

Welcome all new friends and I will post more on here!

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen

Good Afternoon All! Or Night. Or whatever the Hell the time is!!
Well, this is going to be a whole bunch of ramblings today. I have lots of things on my mind today so I am just gonna ramble. Feel free to ignore this page. Those of you that know me know how I am!!

Today was an awful day. I had to go to a Memorial Service for a very dear friend. Jim was only 70 but was one of the funniest and caring men I have ever known. His passing was very fast. He was diagnosed in October with lung cancer and we knew that he was declining fast but never expected it too happen this fast. Gregg had been going over to see him and was even going to go last Sunday. We got the call Friday night that he had passed. Gregg and he have been friends for 30 years or so. As a matter of fact, Jim got Gregg his job back in 1985. Gregg is still there but Jim retired. This man will be deeply missed by a lot of people. RIP my dear sweet friend!!!

And of course this had my head spinning as Tom’s (my deceased husband) and my Mom’s birthday are coming up this month! We are a family of June birthdays and I used to call it Christmas in June but I just ain’t feeling it anymore. The birthdays around here are:
June 1 – Sister’s Daughter
June 2 – Sister
June 14 – Tom (Gone)
June 16 – ME
June 17 – Mom (Gone)
June 29 - Gregg

So you see, I don’t much care for June any more! And then next month will (would have been) our Wedding Anniversary and will be 6 years since Tom died! The only good thing about July is that it is Andy’s Birthday. He will be 12 if he lives that long. With school being out, my patience has been tried to the nth degree already! Caught the little shit on the roof a few minutes ago!! GRRRRRRRRRR I hate kids.

We will be going to Indiana Beach in a few weeks which will get him outta my hair for awhile. We are letting him take a friend so they can run their asses off for two days and maybe burn some of that damn energy before I commit murder! And he has two weeks of camp coming up in July and August! God I live for those weeks when my house can actually be quiet and I can think and not have to clean up any messes. Both camps are just the right ones for him. One camp is especially for kids with Bi-Polar and ADHD and they work on controlling the emotions and the other is for kids that either have a parent with Cancer or lost one to it! He started going to the second about 4 years ago and it really helped him deal with his grief over his Dad!

Oh, BTW, no I am not a raging alcoholic!!!! I got a message about my last blog that it sounded like I drink A LOT! Well, yes, I do!! When I am on vacation!!! That is what the week is for!! No thinking and all drinking!! I THINK when I am home and attending to one of the gazillion responsibilities that I have to deal with every day and when I go on vacation…NO DAMN THINKING!!!!! Then I come home and resume my regular scheduled program. And as most of you know, being a single parent is THE TOUGHEST job in the world! I do have Gregg but I have the kids. He has none and it adapting to his role quite well! So to that person…BITE ME!!!

Ok, rant over…whew…that felt good!!

On another note…We put in a garden earlier this spring and we had it all planted and it looked good. It is 12’ X 24’...yepp...it’s a big one for me! We had 25 tomato plants, 32 green bean plant, radishes, cukes, zucchini, peas, onions, watermelon, and cantaloupe! Yep, we squeezed all of that in there! Well, that afore mentioned sweet lil Devil that claims to be my son decided he would help. We had a bottle of Liquid Fence that you spray around the edges to keep the varmints out. Yep, you guessed it!! He thought he would help and went out and sprayed it DIRECTLY on my bean plants! Umm...nope...no more beans. So off I go to the nursery and get 32 more plants! I get them all planted and it looks good again! And then, come Saturday, Mother Nature decided we didn’t do it right and sent us some nasty storms with marble sized hail! OMG!! My poor plants took another beating! So, in my brilliant brain, I have an idea!! I went to our local bar and grabbed a handful of stir sticks. Yep, hillbillies ain’t got shit on me! I take a stirrer and prop up the plant and tie a piece of yarn around it! Voila…staked up they are! And it is working….so there!! I will take a pic when I get more batteries for the camera. See, Devil child also thought taking pictures of nothingness is a good idea too! Lord help me get through this summer…and its only June 4th!!

Okay, ramblings are over…for now! Gonna go see if someone has more exciting life than mine!

Hugs & Kizzes

Karen