Dear So and So Saturday!

Time for Dear SO and SO Saturday! I borrowed the button from Kat and named it this over on Multiply! Thanks, Kat even tho you have no clue who I am!

You might wanna grab a big cup of coffee or a glass of wine...oh Hell...you may wanna grab the whole bottle because Momma has a lot to say this week:

Dear Lawrence Officer,

Seriously Dude! I realize that you have a rough job being an officer of the Law and all of that but did you really think that putting an 11 year old child in handcuffs, putting him in the back seat of your car, and hauling him down to Juvie was going to make you a hero in you Supervisors eyes? I mean really?!?! All he did was push the brat off of his bike and skinned his elbow. No blood, no stitches, and no damage. Now, I DO NOT condone my child touch another person for any reason, but did you REALLY have to treat him like a common criminal? On this said night about a week ago, while you were taking an hour off your given beat, TWO, yes, TWO people were shot and killed less than a mile from my house approximately the same time you were being an asshole! Do you not think that you could have used my tax dollars and your time management just a little better and maybe take care of the real criminals? No charges were filled and you even told me that as I was watching you take my baby away FOR NO DAMN REASON! Do you realize that it was exactly 58 minutes before they called me to come and pick my son up in one of the worst neighborhoods in our city and that it was getting dark? Did you not understand the concept that I am a single female? Please, for the Love of God, go back to training and man up so you can quit picking on 11 year olds.

Pissed off Mom,
Not voting for your next raise

Dear Mom of the above victim,

What kind of pansy ass son are you raising over there? Every time someone looks at him wrong, do you really need to call the PoPo? Your son is the approximate same size as mine. As I DO NOT condone my son touching another person, your little (girl) boy should have gotten up and gave it back to him. Yes, I know they both were calling each other names. It was self-confessed by both, and my son did push your son off of his bike. But, they were stopped so it was not a drive by shooting that you needed to call the Police. Back in my day, if that happened, we got up and settled man to man and went about our way! If I had EVER came home and told my Dad that “someone hurt me” and they did not look worse than me, my Dad would march my butt over there and settle it in normal fashion. Not that we went over to “beat you up” but settle it amongst neighbors and end it! We did not bother the local finest or dumbest as was this case. And for your info, I am only 5 feet tall and I NEVER backed down from a bully. God help your child next year in school. I hope he doesn’t get beat up by too many girls!

My son doesn’t wear pink.

Dear Camp Jameson,

I really do love you, well, did until Thursday! You only charged me $75 for the camp when you originally told me $125. For that I am grateful. My son loves coming there and I do so enjoy the 5 days of silence. I REALLY DO!

Then you had to go and blow it. Big chunky kind of blow it! As a semi-normal half-sane person, I would think that you would inform me at registration that you had been having issues with bed bugs! Ummm…you have approximately 100 kids coming into your camp and you did not feel the need to tell not a single one of us!?!? So Thursday, Andy was having some issues and you called to let me know and I was able to calm him down a little. Then, as an after thought, you inform me that my child is COVERED in bed bug bites?!?! WTF people! Yes, you claimed that you washed all of his stuff, sprayed the area, and took all necessary steps to stop them. But shouldn’t I have had the decision rights to decide if my son was going to stay at your camp and risk the bites. And my child was not the only one to be bit! I man COME THE FUCK on! When I came to get my son on Thursday, there were about 20 other parents there to get there child the Hell outta the area!
Then you had to cause me more stress my worrying if he brought any home in his stuff! Thank you so much! How can I ever repay you for this? The poor boy is a walking itch machine and I have him completely covered in Calamine lotion and am shoving Benadryl down his throat just so he has a layer or two of skin left. And then he tells me this morning he thinks he has new bites. THANK YOU SO DMN MUCH! I needed to completely cleaned, wash, and vacuum everything that child owns because I have nothing else to do! I may have to send you a cleaning bill for my time?

Not a Happy Camper!

Dear Sinuses,
You and I have been together for a lot of years. We have got along really good since I was about 10 years old after I got over some allergies. Please explain to me why all of a sudden you need to interrupt my life? I did not know that one body could make that much snot and still not be able to breath! I am just asking that you go away or I will resort to mean tactics, like maybe going to the Doctor or something else terrible! Did you know that breathing is not optional in this life? I bought stock in Kleenex now so I may be a rich woman one of these days. Well, that and Benadryl for my son!

Snert and Achoo!

Ok kids, that is the jest of my week! See, life is never boring for me, Dammit! Marty, next time you run away, I is going with you! Eric will just have to share the back seat!

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen