Dear So and So

I saw this on here and thought it was a great idea so I am joining in!

Dear Weatherman,

Can I please have your job because you so obviously suck at it and I could do it and I could also use your really outrageous paycheck for doing nothing? I mean seriously, you have all of those computers, Doppler radars and hell, you even have a phone and you could call them in the Illinois and ask what is going on over there and know that we will get it next. If it is raining there, IT IS GOING TO RAIN HERE!

Sincerely,
Your future replacement
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Dear wonderful son,

Yes, I realize you are going to camp tomorrow. Remember, I am the one that signed you up, took you to the doctor for your physical, and I even PAID for it. You do not, I repeat, do not have to remind me every 15 minutes. I am FULLY aware that I will get to be childless for the next 5 days and I promise you I will fully enjoy. Now go outside. I promise you won’t melt or anything like that.

Love,
The Mom that will enjoy the next 5 days

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Dear Weeds in my Garden,
I would really like to know who invited you to the party. We spent a ton of money putting that garden in and making sure we didn’t invite you. As soon as we turned our backs and went out of town for a couple of days, you throw a damn party! What, are you teenagers that think just because Mom & Dad are gone you can tear the place up. Sorry about yer luck, I just sprayed your butts and you is gonna die...die I tell ya!

Now get out,
Your murderer for hire

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Dear Alphie,
You know I love you, I really do! But why do you think it is necessary to jump on my bed at the first light of day and lick my face? I know what else you lick and would prefer you kept that taste to yourself. I mean, come on dude, you are always licking me some where and I can take it on my feet or legs, but seriously, not on my face.

Thank you,
The Alphie treat person

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Dear Guy in India,
I am grateful to you! Really, I am!! The day will go down in history. I totally appreciate the fact the you have a good grasp of the English language and I was able to understand you for the whole hour we were getting to know each other whilst you fixed my modem that decided to take a crap yesterday. I will return the one I bought today and I thank you for the $50.00 you let me keep. I had not even cashed the rebate check that I got for this modem and now I get to actually keep it. And you even helped with a couple of other issues with my ‘puter! If you weren’t so far away, I might kiss you!

One Happy Internet Lurker

Hugs & Kizzes
Karen