Panic Attacks and Paper Bags!

It is that time again! Time for the panic to set in. I do this E.V.E.R.Y.Y.E.A.R. T-minus 3 weeks and I start making the lists, checking them twice, breath into a paper bag, make calls, breath into a paper bag, pay all bills, breath into a paper bag! See this pattern?




As you all know, the Annual Mother’s Day Trip is something I covet more than almost anything in the world! I live my life for the freedom of ONE WHOLE WEEK to myself! Well, OK, so I either get calls or call home every night to check and make sure no one is bleeding, severed a limb, and that the house has not burned to the ground! It’s a Mom thing!


But I don’t have to cook, clean, taxi, or listen to whining for one glorious week. The most I have to do is get up, slap on a bathing suit and decide if I am going to the beach or flop by the pool! If I get hungry, I plop myself in a restaurant, order, pay, and leave! No dishes! Laundry? Not happening! Leave a few of dollars for the maid each day and she does allllll of the cleaning!


But then there are the panic days leading up to this! Will my house burn down, will they miss me, and will my Son have a Nuclear breakdown in school? That is the BIGGIE! HE is switching back to regular hours next week and I wonder if 2 weeks will be enough for him to readjust to the times! And the Teachers. And the noise. And the work!! And the distractions!!


Some of you may not know this but Andy is Severely Bi-Polar with major ADHD symptoms! That boy can switch attitudes quicker than any woman I have ever known with the worst case PMS! And talk about seeing shiny thing!?!? Oh Lord, the kid has a switch in him that can go so severe some moments that you are just too dumbfounded to even respond! We do meds, counseling, doctors, IEP, AEP, and on and on.


I have a plan that I go with every year and things are NEVER as my brain tries to imagine them before I leave. My child is as COMPLETE ANGEL when with other people and never causes a minute of trouble. When I am not around! I worry over nothing! Bite me Kid!


My Seester, Trista, is the main person to deal with him and she is GOOD at it, too! She takes no shit therefore he knows not to give her any. But this year will be slightly different as I am employing Gregg and Jimmy to assist! Due to schedules, I have to have back-em-up on a few days right after school and on Saturday! Jimmy is retired and loves him and likes to take him to do things and is teaching him all about fishing and yucky boy stuff so I think he is going to take him fishing on Saturday until Gregg gets home so that is all good!


I know I am just getting anxious but that is “normal” for me! I have many lists of things to get off of my ass and get done. Before you know it, I will be sitting on the beach blogging to ya’ all about the fact that I am doing nothing more than sipping a Banana Daiquiri! And your not!


If I could only find that list that tells me where I left my lists!


Did I mention I have started packing? Yes, I have to start early because we have certain traditions that we do in Florida and I have to make sure I don’t forget the important things! Remind me to tell you the story about the dildo on the kitchen table for a week!


Hope all of your Mondays are starting good! Now, ‘scuse me, I have hair pulling moments to deal with. Or maybe I will just go have a chat with Miss Clairol! Now where did I put that paper bag?