Troubles and Troubles!

I am having some serious issues with this computer today! I have spent HOURS deleting crap and baking up everything and it is still giving me fits!! I get to one of your blogs, I read, and just as I am about to comment, SOB locks up and I have to reboot! ARGH!!!

But anyway, here is the cake I *made* for Rose and then some pics of the poopers after a day at the Spa! Ye, they put bows in my MALE dogs ears!!!!

I am going to add one more ding dong to raise the cupcake up but I wanted to wait until I got it there so it didn't fall over!

Ten Thought Tuesday!!

Ten thought is what you want, ten thoughts is what you get…maybe!!!

1. I haven’t been around much lately except for a little lurking. It’s that life thing. Too much too do and not enough time. Or I have just been playing too much! That damn Wii has been teasing me into playing for way too long! Mario Brothers need to die, dammit!

2. No word on the identity theft deal. They say the investigation is going on but that is all I get. If I get my next bill and it has anything funky on it, let’s just say “It ain’t gonna be purty Ma”. They have their address so I don’t get why they just don’t go get them. Duh!!

3. While at the store last week I bought SEEDLESS grapes. But they weren’t! Damn near broke a tooth finding this out. Can I sue for false advertisement? This is the reason I usually taste one before buying. But I didn’t this time because Gregg was with me and if you ever really want to see what kind of insane you are, go to the store with him!! And no, I don’t tell them to add a penny because I ate one. They can Bite Me!!

4. I am packed!! Oh hush…..I am a woman and I need my shit! Gregg was laughing at me and I just told him to think about all of the stuff you use and need during one week and then if you had to put it in a suitcase. Yes, I buy crap while I am there too and most of the toiletries are sample size and will not be coming back but DAMMIT I need 5 pairs of shoes that I will probably only carry with me and plop them on the floor at whatever Tiki bar we go to!! I don’t try shoes on; I just hold them next to my hip and see how they look while carrying them! Oh Hush!

5. I am going to buy a new camera today!!!! I have an old digital but the flash seems to take FOREVER and I can never get those spontaneous shots so I am treating myself to a new one! And no, not a fancy one like you photographers use, just a new point and shoot digital camera! Saw some in the Sunday ads that were less than $100. Twelve pixels (whatever a pixel is?) with a 3” screen to see and just point and shoot. Well, the have other features but we all know I will never figure out how to work them Oh sure, they come with a DVD you can watch and learn but what are the chances that I watch and learn?

6. Tomorrow is a good friend’s birthday and she is crazy nuts about Hostess crap so I am making her a Hostess cake!! LOL I am not as talented as Billie so I am taking cupcakes and ding dongs and making a layer cake. Just for the Hell of it!!

7. I have weird neighbors. It seems like everyday they empty out their shed and put it ALL back in and then every evening he washes the driveway with the hose!?!? WTF!! Dude, it has been raining for three day, I’m a thinkin’ it’s CLEAN!!

8. Did you know that when it has been raining for three day and you have two small furry things that have to go outside 75 times a day, there is really no good reason to mop any floors in your house? Unless you REALLY like mopping. Then I need you to move in with me until Spring is over!

9. I get to go have a REAL pedicure next week!! I do my own fingernails and usually do the toes too but I am treating myself!!

10. Ok, that’s enough spewing for one day! I gotta go shower and run around town like a crazy woman on a mission because well, I will be on a mission! It’s those damn list that keep staring at me!!

I have to admit, I have been lurking A L O T this week. See, it is really hard to type with one hand while holding the phone to your ear. And it seems as both phones have been at me ear for the ENTIRE week! And can even say that at one point, I had both of them to my ears at the same time.



It just seems alot of things are going down and have to be handled on the phone because if I saw some of these people face to face, I would need bail money!! Lots and lots of bail money!


Yesterday I thought I had it down to a dull roar and ran a few errands, relaxed in the tanning bed and was prepared for a nice evening out with some friends! I stop to get the mail on my way home, hey look, no bills!! Yea Me!! Butttt…there is a letter from AT&T. It is not my name but it is my address. I open it. It says “Thank you for establishing service with AT&T!!! Ummm, asshats, I have had your service for over 13 years. A few lines down it says if you did not recently authorized service please call. So I did! HOLD CITY! AGAIN!


Finally get a lady and I tell her that I did not authorize any services because I already have them!


Lady: Maybe your husband allowed someone to establish service with his SS number?


Me: Nope, don’t think so. He’s been dead for almost 7 years! He doesn’t need a phone or Internet!


Lady: Oh, urmm…uhh…ok then. Maybe a friend or relative?


Me: Nope, don’t even know anyone in the town that you told me they were trying to hook up service!


(See, she had already verified my address and then told me the address where they are trying to get service!)


Lady: Well, they used the same SS of your husband but a different name. And BTW, why do you still have your Hubby’s name on the account?


Me: Because I can. And as you will see, my name is also on there with my SS! I was told that was all I had to do to maintain service after he died and I moved. But back to the problem, what do I need to do to keep these people from adding an account onto mine?


Lady: We have to contact the Fraud Investigator and investigate. Please hold while I contact him!


****Cue theme from Jeopardy here…oh, about 100 times******


Lady: He is not answering. Can you hold for a couple of more minutes and I will try (insert some name I don’t remember)?


Me: Well, I can’t be on hold much longer, I have to get my kid from the bus stop. (Yes, I realize I am going to Hell for lying but I promise to save some of you a seat)


Lady: OK, I promise not even two minutes!


****insert music from the 80’s*****


This part I was actually enjoying but she came back on before the song was even over!


Lady: I will have to get back to you on Monday and have the full investigation going.


Me: So there will be NO services turned on between now and then?


Lady: The order is pending and I will put a freeze on it for now!


Me: So should I call the Police and file fraud against these people. I mean, you do have the address for them and all of that so they can go and arrest them? Before they do anything else with Tom’s information. Who knows, they may have mine off of the account too!


Lady: I will call you on Monday and nothing will be done until then. They will get no service and we will not let on that they are being investigated until we solve this problem. Have a nice weekend!


So, here I sit wondering what else Tom is buying while I am not looking! I hope I get some pretty Bling Bling!


And that has been my week! Today I am taking the day off. I refuse to shower or even get out of my jammies! You can’t make me. It is raining and yucky and I can’t think of a good reason to go outside! I have already had one nap and it is only 12:15! Take that!


TRYING to go back and comment on all of you chatty people. If I leave anybody out, please forgive me and I will send you chocolate! If there is any left~

I sorry!! I lurked about a bit yesterday but didn’t comment much! Gregg is off on Wednesday’s and as you saw, he left me a sweet card on the table with my paper! So, I didn’t play on here much! He wasn’t feeling real good so he was all whiny and stuff and Momma had to baby him!



Then he really started laughing and messing with me! Bastard!


See, I am a female! I know, but it’s true!


I HAVE to start pack WAY ahead of time as you know! I had a few piles of stuff in the bedroom but had not actually pulled the suitcase out. Until yesterday! And I got the BIG sucker out too! Now, I will give you a little back info. When I come home each year, I wash everything, regardless if I wore it or not! Sand gets into EVERYTHING!! I then put most of the “beach wear” right back in it! I then pull it out the next year, wash it again and repack. I also buy new things and add throughout the year. Then the decisions have to start!


Am I taking this, do I have shoes that match or do I need to buy a new pair (shhh, I heard that), will it cross match with this so I can not take as much? See my dilemma? Then there are the “special” things that need to go and more lists to be made of what needs to be replaced!


The overnight bag is a dilemma too! So damn much that you have to do to get those damn things onto the plane! Three ounces, threes ounces, and three ounces…in zip baggies and blah, blah, blah!


Luckily, I sign up for a gazillion freebies on here so I have most toiletries in sample sizes that work perfect! Seven little packets of shampoo/ conditioner, soap, toothpaste, mouth wash…all that free and disposable! Less to carry home! I also have a brush, comb, curling iron; crap like that I bought to STAY in the bag!


See much OCD going on here? Nope, not me! There is a method to my madness. Gregg don’t get it but he is Male, he gets nothing unless it is about sports!


I have a black EZ comb that I LOVE! It is an As Seen on TV thing but they work so well. With long hair, sand, wind, and humidity, this thing keeps my hair up and I can lay my head back on the beach chair and it doesn’t hurt!


I CAN’T FIND IT!!!!


And this is where the laughing really starts! I will not describe my efforts in finding this thing. I refuse to tell how many times I opened the same draws and looked…again…and again!


I added it to the list! Wally World has them, Thank You Jebus!!!


And on another note, Patti I get the “I need my thumbs”! I seriously do!


Last night for dinner, I got to have Chinese, which Gregg won’t eat it, but was feeling puny and wanted soup. I made a yummy Sweet & Spicy Shrimp and Flied Lice!!! Stuff was good. I was hungry two hours later but what the Hell!


Ok, so after I eat I am cleaning the kitchen. I was emptying the dish washer and was putting the last glass on the shelf. I have been telling myself for a long time that there is too much in that cabinet and I should take some of the crap out of there! Well, I now have one less glass in there!


As I was pushing the last one in, a BIG GLASS fell and hit the cabinet. As I was jumping back with the usual “Shit”, the big bottom hit the counter, bounced up and…slits my thumb WIDE open! And I got dizzy!! WTF!!!!!!!!!! With all of my old female issues, blood should NOT affect me in any way!


I couldn’t get that sucker to stop bleeding and I probably should have had a stitch or two but that is why God made painkillers! The cut is right across the bottom (palm side) joint. Most inconvenient, let me tell you! I hit that SOB at least every 5 seconds. Even typing this out I have hit it numerous times hitting the space bar!!! Woke up several times last night trying to use it! I see blood on the bandage but don’t feel like changing the bandage yet!!


Tomorrow, I have a Girl’s DAY!!!!!! We go to the fancy-schmancy hair place and the……..Margaritas with the girls! About 5-6 of us are going to meet up and have an afternoon! I think Connie is spending the night too so I will be gone until Saturday on here. THEN on Saturday….I have to make 120 deviled eggs! Yea, 120 of those things. I have two things coming up this weekend and since I make the Best (or so they say to stroke my ego to get me to make them) I will have a very smelly house! Which is always fun when Gregg can’t stand the smell!


One event I am not even participating in but got ***cough**cough** coerced into making them and then on Sunday is the Memorial for Bonnie!!


Ok, enough boredom for one day! No, probably not

Awwww..I Love My Man!!!

Today's List!

Color Hair - check

CVS - check

Tan - check

Papa Murphy's Pizza - check

Get Gas - check

Liquor Store - check

Meds for Andy - check

Piss Off Mortgage Company - check

Piss Off Old Car Financer - check

Piss Off Insurance Company - check

Drink a Cold Beer - check

My Ten for Tuesday!!

For All of You Gals!!!

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says ~~ "Oh Crap, She's up!" (I love this!!)

Sister Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Love the ones who don't just because you can. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. God never said life would be easy. He just promised it would be worth it. Today is sister's day, send this to all your sisters, mothers, daughters, girlfriends even me if I am like one. If you get back 7, you are loved. Happy Sister's Day! I LOVE YA SISTA'!!! :-) Girlfriend and Sister's Week I am only as strong as the chocolate I eat, the hair spray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women that have touched my life. Here's to you! National Girlfriends Day What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls? Let's celebrate each other for each other's sake! TO MY GIRLFRIENDS! If you get this twice you know you have more than one girlfriend... Be Happy! PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ALL OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS AND RETURN IT TO THE FRIEND WHO SENT IT TO YOU! It is good to be a woman!!

Panic Attacks and Paper Bags!

It is that time again! Time for the panic to set in. I do this E.V.E.R.Y.Y.E.A.R. T-minus 3 weeks and I start making the lists, checking them twice, breath into a paper bag, make calls, breath into a paper bag, pay all bills, breath into a paper bag! See this pattern?




As you all know, the Annual Mother’s Day Trip is something I covet more than almost anything in the world! I live my life for the freedom of ONE WHOLE WEEK to myself! Well, OK, so I either get calls or call home every night to check and make sure no one is bleeding, severed a limb, and that the house has not burned to the ground! It’s a Mom thing!


But I don’t have to cook, clean, taxi, or listen to whining for one glorious week. The most I have to do is get up, slap on a bathing suit and decide if I am going to the beach or flop by the pool! If I get hungry, I plop myself in a restaurant, order, pay, and leave! No dishes! Laundry? Not happening! Leave a few of dollars for the maid each day and she does allllll of the cleaning!


But then there are the panic days leading up to this! Will my house burn down, will they miss me, and will my Son have a Nuclear breakdown in school? That is the BIGGIE! HE is switching back to regular hours next week and I wonder if 2 weeks will be enough for him to readjust to the times! And the Teachers. And the noise. And the work!! And the distractions!!


Some of you may not know this but Andy is Severely Bi-Polar with major ADHD symptoms! That boy can switch attitudes quicker than any woman I have ever known with the worst case PMS! And talk about seeing shiny thing!?!? Oh Lord, the kid has a switch in him that can go so severe some moments that you are just too dumbfounded to even respond! We do meds, counseling, doctors, IEP, AEP, and on and on.


I have a plan that I go with every year and things are NEVER as my brain tries to imagine them before I leave. My child is as COMPLETE ANGEL when with other people and never causes a minute of trouble. When I am not around! I worry over nothing! Bite me Kid!


My Seester, Trista, is the main person to deal with him and she is GOOD at it, too! She takes no shit therefore he knows not to give her any. But this year will be slightly different as I am employing Gregg and Jimmy to assist! Due to schedules, I have to have back-em-up on a few days right after school and on Saturday! Jimmy is retired and loves him and likes to take him to do things and is teaching him all about fishing and yucky boy stuff so I think he is going to take him fishing on Saturday until Gregg gets home so that is all good!


I know I am just getting anxious but that is “normal” for me! I have many lists of things to get off of my ass and get done. Before you know it, I will be sitting on the beach blogging to ya’ all about the fact that I am doing nothing more than sipping a Banana Daiquiri! And your not!


If I could only find that list that tells me where I left my lists!


Did I mention I have started packing? Yes, I have to start early because we have certain traditions that we do in Florida and I have to make sure I don’t forget the important things! Remind me to tell you the story about the dildo on the kitchen table for a week!


Hope all of your Mondays are starting good! Now, ‘scuse me, I have hair pulling moments to deal with. Or maybe I will just go have a chat with Miss Clairol! Now where did I put that paper bag?

CHIP!!! I found Dinochickens! For Reals!!!

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/03/05/dinosaur-chicken.html

Shoes

Yes, I am, as Marty so eloquently put it, a Shoe Whore! This is nothing new to me. I have had two husbands and a few boyfriends point out that I have a problem! And there are no meetings for me to attend so I just go to the shoe store! It is there that I can find kindred spirits such as myself and we are a happy group!



On Tuesday I was at the local Wally World and they have a plain simple black flip flop that I like and they are only $8 a pair! I had 4 pair last summer. Why four pair, you ask? Because I have dogs! Yes, as soon as you turn your head, they chew the strap off. In like 3 seconds!


So I had bought a new pair on Tuesday, put them on to wear, I had two dogs following me all through the house JUST STARING AT MY FEET! Very creepy, really! We leave for a coupe of hours. I came in, took shoes off for FIVE SECONDS because I had to pee! Come out of the bathroom! Can you guess the ending? YES, IN THE TIME IT TOOK ME TO PEE, THE DAMN DOGS ATE MY SHOES!


So I will go today and buy more! Probably two pair! Because I have dogs!


Now, why does she have over 300 pairs of shoes? Because I can! Does she wear all of these shoes? No! Why? Because she really doesn’t go anywhere fancy to wear said shoes! Most days I will have on PLAIN WHITE TENNY RUNNERS! Or black flip flops if the dogs haven’t ate them!


There are three of us that wear the same size around here and anytime we get shoes that we don’t care for, we pass them around! One friend has a RICH cousin by marriage that loves shoes even more than me! She buys the EXPENSIVE ones. Think $200-$300 a pair! Last fall, she sent 15 BAGS of shoes up to us from North Carolina! OMFG!!!! Yes, I think I inked on that one! I was the happy recipient of almost all of those shoes! OMFG!!!!!!


Now Connie, my BFF, is the Purse Whore! This woman changes her purse EVERY DAY! To match her outfit! Oh, Hell to the No on that one! I get a purse I use it until I can’t any more! I have my everyday purse, one that has a beach theme that is large and I take it to Florida, my two Colts purses that I carry during football season and maybe a couple more!


I also am weird that my tenny runners have to be all white. No color but white on them! And as soon as they are dirty, I put them in the washer but when that no longer works, I am done with them! I have a tote in my closets with about 30 pair in it that I intend to donate to shelter or something because there is nothing wrong with them except they are not white enough for me!


I also bought a pair of plain canvas Ked's that I like to wear and Gregg had the balls to call them Granny shoes. That’s when I whopped him with one and told him Granny can still hurt you!


So, now that you all are shaking your pretty heads at me, I think I will go shopping! Payless just called. Stock is dropping because I haven’t been there in a couple of weeks!

Thursday Thoughts

Ok, so weather around here as gone to Hell and didn't take the handbasket! Only here can it be 80+ one day, 65 the next and now a lovely 40! And my "brilliant" son left his window open last and when I went in to get him up, could have hung meat in there!


After getting stuff done yesterday, I had to go through a bunch of picture to get some of Bonnie! We are having a Memorial for her on the 18th and a friends of ours' daughter is doing a video of pictures that we all can come up with! Believe it or not, I am a picture taker! So, they suck but I take them anyway! And OMG, I have entirely too many!


About 7 years ago Mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Well, what I really needed was some photo albums. Between her and my Seester I had enougth spaces for about 2000 pictues. Ummmm...I only have one album left to fill and have oh, maybe 1000 sitting in the drawer to be put in them. And won't even mention the amount I have on here that I haven't even developed! Sigh.....new age technology! I do have MOST of them transferred onto CD's just in case the computer decides to take a crap!


A long, long time ago in a place far, far away, I was born! Actually it's true! I was born in Los Angeles so that is far, yanno! Anywho, there used to be a bunch of pictures of me but when I was around 4-5 my Dad's house burnt down and he had all or most of the pictures of me! So, no record of me! A few scattered among relatives but that's it! Well, when Dad died in 1991 there were some pictures brought that nobody was really sure of who they were! My Mom started going through them and found the one below!! Isn't she a cutie???

I had fun looking back over the years in photos! Lordy Lordy I want my body back!!!! Not the one above just the one I had at 30!! This one:

Thursday Three Confession? Nope!

Ok, so weather around here as gone to Hell and didn't take the handbasket! Only here can it be 80+ one day, 65 the next and now a lovely 40! And my "brilliant" son left his window open last and when I went in to get him up, could have hung meat in there!

After getting stuff done yesterday, I had to go through a bunch of picture to get some of Bonnie! We are having a Memorial for her on the 18th and a friends of ours' daughter is doing a video of pictures that we all can come up with! Believe it or not, I am a picture taker! So, they suck but I take them anyway! And OMG, I have entirely too many!

About 7 years ago Mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Well, what I really needed was some photo albums. Between her and my Seester I had enougth spaces for about 2000 pictues. Ummmm...I only have one album left to fill and have oh, maybe 1000 sitting in the drawer to be put in them. And won't even mention the amount I have on here that I haven't even developed! Sigh.....new age technology! I do have MOST of them transferred onto CD's just in case the computer decides to take a crap!

A long, long time ago in a place far, far away, I was born! Actually it's true! I was born in Los Angeles so that is far, yanno! Anywho, there used to be a bunch of pictures of me but when I was around 4-5 my Dad's house burnt down and he had all or most of the pictures of me! So, no record of me! A few scattered among relatives but that's it! Well, when Dad died in 1991 there were some pictures brought that nobody was really sure of who they were! My Mom started going through them and found the one below!! Isn't she a cutie???

I had fun looking back over the years in photos! Lordy Lordy I want my body back!!!! Not the one above just the one I had at 30!! This one:

Damn I Am Old!!

Got this in an EekMail and I know ALL of it!!

How's This For Nostalgia?

All the girls had ugly gym uniforms?


It took three minutes for the TV to warm up?



Nobody owned a purebred dog?


When a quarter was a decent allowance?


You'd reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?


Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?


You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn't pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?


Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?


It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?


They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed. . and they did it!


When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?


No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?


Lying on your back in the grass with your friends?
and saying things like, 'That cloud looks like a... '?

Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?


Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger?


And with all our progress, don't you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today.


When being sent to the principal's office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?

Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn't because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.

. .as well as summers filled with bike rides, Hula Hoops, and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.
Didn't that feel good, just to go back and say, 'Yeah, I remember that'?


I am sharing this with you today because it ended with a Double Dog Dare to pass it on. To remember what a Double Dog Dare is, read on. And remember that the perfect age is somewhere between old enough to know better and too young to care.

Send this on to someone who can still remember Howdy Doody and ThePeanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow knows, Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk.


How Many Of These Do You Remember?
Candy cigarettes

Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.


Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles.

Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes.

Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum.

Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers.


Newsreels before the movie.

Telephone numbers with a word prefix...( Yukon 2-601). Party lines.


Peashooters.

Howdy Doody.

Hi-Fi's & 45 RPM records.


78 RPM records!


Green Stamps.


Mimeograph paper.

The Fort Apache Play Set.

Do You Remember a Time When..
Decisions were made by going 'eeny-meeny-miney-moe'?
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, 'Do Over!'?
'Race issue' meant arguing about who ran the fastest?


Catching The Fireflies Could Happily Occupy An Entire Evening?



It wasn't odd to have two or three 'Best Friends'?



Having a Weapon in School meant being caught with a Slingshot?

Saturday morning cartoons weren't 30-minute commercials for action figures?


'Oly-oly-oxen-free' made perfect sense?

Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?

The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team?

War was a card game?


Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?

Taking drugs meant orange - flavored chewable aspirin?


Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?


If you can remember most or all of these, Then You Have Lived!!!!!!!

Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their 'Grown-Up' Life . .
I Double-Dog-Dare-Ya!