Wednesday Why's!

Just some things I am wondering about today. You have been warned!

Why does Gregg pour a bowl full of milk and then pours cereal in and eats until the milk is gone?

Why does he always take the cereal out of the box and then wraps a rubber band around it?

Why do car makers come up with ugly ass cars?

Why is it that I can go into a “fancy, EXPENSIVE” Mall wearing just regular jeans, a t-shirt and tennie runners and people feel the need to stare? Sorry, but you are the idjits because you actually pay $100 for a top that I can get at Kohl’s for $20!

Why does the Apple store have 25 employees? Most of them standing around. But they have EXCELLENT customer service skills. Andy’s IPod Touch lost it’s back light, he called Monday night, they made him an appointment for Tuesday, walked in, handed it to the guy with one inch stones IN his ear lobes, he goes in the back, comes back, hands us a BRAND NEW one with all stuff moved and out we walk.

Why is that Mall 752 miles long and I parked at the opposite end?

Why do I still hurt from working out, I have been doing it regularly now?

Why does that thing say “ugh” every time I step on it?

Why did the sun go away?

Why isn’t it May yet?

Why haven’t I showered yet and got on with doing something productive?

Why am I boring you peeps with this shit?

Tuesday Ramblings!!

Ten Thoughts Huh? We shall see.

1. TEO and I have sort of become friends. He kicks my ass, I sweat, and then I shove him in a corner until the next day! And he sits there and stares at me with an evil stink eye.

2. I did run one whole mile yesterday!! Just started breathing again this morning.

3. Why do the dogs look at me funny while I am exercising? Guess I need to lock them in the other room as the snickering is giving me a complex.

4. The temps are warming up and I am going to get out and run some errands today. Going to do some wild things like go to the bank, dollar store, yanno…big time trips!

5. I can’t believe I lose ANOTHER hour of my life next week. DST is March 14 for us weirdos that change our clocks twice a year. I like it in the summer as I can be outside longer but then it is a bitch to get a kid to go to bed when school starts with the sun up.

6. Diet Lipton Green Tea with Mixed Berries is pretty darn good…and they say it’s good for me. No calories and no carbs…are they lying to me? But ummmm...I just looked at the bottle…it says tast best if drank before….November 2009! And I just bought it last week?!?!?

7. I can’t die now!! I have just two months until I go to the Heaven on Earth!

8. For those of you down in the mood department, may I suggest a 20 minute nap in a tanning bed? OMG can that change your mood.

9. My kid and his mood swings are gonna be the death of me. For a couple of days he will be and Angel and do everything he is asked and then for a couple of days I swear he will not see his 13th birthday!

10. Gregg is being weirdly nice and sweet lately. He is most of the time but lately he is just all lovey-dovey. Should I be worried? And I haven’t been all bitchy-twitchy lately. Should he be worried?

11. I AM SO DAMN GLAD THE OLYMPIC ARE OVER!!! I was running out of books to read to avoid them.

12. Seriously people, Kate Gosselin and Pamela Anderson on Dancing with the Stars?

There ya have it sports fans. So I can’t count.

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding...

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.


Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.



He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace...



Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You can't fix stupid.

A Doggone Good Day!!!

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The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. -Michael Combs There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. -Ben Williams A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Peter Dorsett The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. -Andy Rooney Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. - Franklin P. Jones My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. -Mark Twain Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. -Phil Pastoret

Enter At Your Own Risk!

Ok, so I know it is only 12:50 but I am drinking a Bloody Mary!! Why, you ask! BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A KIPPY HERE!!! Yesterday I decided to hook the router back up so I can be on the laptop in another room! Easy Peasy…been there, done that. I remember I had to call AT&T to have them bridge the modem. Well, it won’t work. Brainfart and remember I have a new modem! Ok, call the bastards.

On the phone the guy says they don’t bridge equipment that is not theirs. The modem is but not the router. He tells me 2nd tier tech support has to do that. Well, give me them. Nope, he wants to try some things. ONE HOUR later the fucktard tells me “I have to give you the 2nd tier! Will not repeat words said but I am sure my Momma is proud. Good thing I don’t kiss her with this mouth anymore!

I am on the phone with this 2nd guy and we are ON IT! About 10 minutes into it he says the router needs to be reset and I have to call Netgear. He even had the number for me.

Call Netgear! OMFG, I am so going to hurt someone! They say if I want them to fix THEIR shit, I have to pay $19.95 for their tech support!!!!!! I politely **cough**cough** tell Indiaman that he can take his stuff and put it up his ass and I promise to go on the Interwebz and write about everywhere I can!

I get on computer…NO FUCKING INTERNET!!!!

I am somewhat computer literate so I fix it. Get

Interwebz up and running. Or so I thought~

NO FUCKING EMAIL!

At this point I went to the bar and drank A LOT!!

Well, only because one of my really good friends that I haven’t seen in about a month was there and she is an IT person so I had to drill her head and get some help.

This morning…still no email. Mess around with it and guess what? Got email…..from last year!
18,643 emails coming in……Every email I have sent or received since last September…all coming back! I even got to read a few of your guys’ blogs before I knew you!

SOOOOOOOOOO I call AT&T! Forty-five minutes later, I hung up on the guy. It was either that or hurt someone.

Oh wait, I just looked back at email because I just have to let them come in and delete and we are over 20,000.

Andy at school, dogs at the Beauty Parlor, and Gregg is in the shower and is going to run some errands…BECAUSE HE IS SKEERED!!!!

He mumbled something about Looney bin, white jacket and meds...

I Have Friends In Crawl Spaces!

We ALL know Karen is having a bad computer day. BTW...29,000 emails and growing. But anywho...I did finally start getting some from yesterday and today...and this is what one of my "friends" sent me:::

An Ugly Day

Just When You Thought You Were Having An Ugly Day!!!

Here you go...

Finally!!! The Answer

Procrastination Be Thy Name

Yep, I have more things than I need to do today and what am I doing? On here!

It FINALLY quit snowing but the blowing and the temps are NASTY! I do have a few errands I need to run today or tomorrow but am going to ask (con) Gregg into doing them. I have a full plate today as it is!

I put two pork tenderloins in the crock pot last night to make BBQ pulled pork for tomorrow! I can't wait! Waking up to the smell was awesome!

My list for the day in case anyone is bored and want to come help:

Clean carpets

Pull Pork

Clean bathroom, the BIG one

Do my laundry

Dust EVERYTHING

Mop all floors

Clean bed linens as I bought new quilt and all yesterday

Make cheese tray

Make relish tray

Take a nap

Unload dish washer

Replace ceiling fan with new one

Put old one in bedroom

Make kid clean his room

Ok, each one of you pick a chore and get over here! I have cake! I have liquor, beer, and wine! Oh, and champagne, too! And lots of it! Hell, I will go buy you a lobster tail and steak!